


The worst way out

by Samsangel_Gabrielsmoose



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Bobby is everyone's adoptive dad, Car Accidents, Dysfunctional Family, Flashbacks, Gabriel has self-esteem issues, Hurt/Comfort, Lucifer is a complete dick, M/M, Minor Character Death, Sam is a Sweetheart, Seriously though why do I always hurt Gabriel, minor smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-27
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-23 13:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6118285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samsangel_Gabrielsmoose/pseuds/Samsangel_Gabrielsmoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel finally plucks up the courage to run away from his dysfunctional family, and his abuse at the hands of his older brother Lucifer. He doesn't expect to find a whole new family after he gets hit by truck.<br/>But then sometimes, home comes to light in the most unlikely of places.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Gabriel swallowed a yawn and ran the tip of his tongue over his chapped lips. The road was ruthlessly hard under his worn out shoes and every step ached. He shoulders twinged under the heavy burden of his rucksack. The wind was up, burning his face and whipping up his hair. Every muscle in his body ached with exhaustion.

He had been walking since late afternoon, and now it was almost midnight. He hadn’t seen a car for hours, and it was mere luck that kept him from stumbling on the dark, dusty highway. For a brief moment he considered stopping his trek and curling up on the edge of the road but he dismissed the idea as soon as it came. He couldn’t afford to stop, not now.

Gabriel wondered if his family had even noticed yet. Probably not. Most likely it would be his little brother Castiel who found his goodbye note, which he had stuck to the fridge in plain sight. Michael would be too busy to see it, and Lucifer… Well, even if he did see it he wouldn’t care. Gabriel was grateful for that, it would give him more time to get away.

He knew they would come after him the moment they realised he was gone. At least, Michael would. Lucifer certainly wouldn’t care. Gabriel could imagine the cruel light in this brother’s eyes and it sent a shiver down his spine. Lucifer would be delighted that Gabriel was gone. _“Good riddance.”_ He would say. _“He was always a weak link.”_

The mere thought of Lucifer made Gabriel want to curl into himself. He lifted his hand on autopilot to touch the tender bruise on his jaw, sending dull pain through his skull. He could easily remember the first time Lucifer had hit him. It had been an accident that time, Gabriel had just been in the way. But the second, and the third, and all the subsequent injuries and been deliberate, calculated and thoroughly enjoyed. Gabriel had learned to take the blows when they came, and to keep them to himself. He never told Michael of the cruel words and the even crueller kicks and punches he endured. He hated to think about what would happen if Michael found out. Michael had always adored Lucifer, refusing to see his flaws, paying his gambling debts without question and always dismissing claims that Lucifer was a rotten apple. Gabriel knew it would have broken Michael’s heart to know what had happened to him. So it was better this way, better that he was going away. He could spare himself, and his brother a lot of pain.

He would miss his other siblings. Castiel, Anna and Samandriel had always been his pride and joy. He loved them fiercely and couldn’t bear to see them hurting. He knew they would be sad without him, but they would be better off in the long run. They were growing up so fast, and he knew that eventually they would catch on, even if Michael did not.

Gabriel was weary and his entire body ached. And, yet, the road was quiet. Peaceful, even. Gabriel couldn’t remember a time he had felt so calm. He could see patches of starry sky every now and again, peeking through the branches of the roadside trees. The moon was there too, lighting his way with its pale light. Gabriel strayed into the middle of the road, a smile slipping onto his face. It made his jaw ache. He couldn’t remember the last time he had smiled like that. An odd feeling spread through him, like warmth, and gave him strength. It dawned on him that finally, after all those years of heartbreak, he was free. Free of the torture he had endured. Free to be himself, whoever he was. He wanted to sing, to laugh, to –

He didn’t hear the truck coming. He didn’t even see its lights until it was too late. He felt the impact through every bone of his body. He aware for a moment of the fact that he was flying, through the air at high speed, until he suddenly wasn’t. He crashed to the ground and then there was only darkness. The last thing he heard was a scream, perhaps his own, perhaps not. He couldn’t help to bubble of sick laughter that rose up as he lay there, dizzy from impact and feeling sticky blood dripping down his face. He always had wanted to go out with a bang.


	2. Chapter 2

The truck’s tires dragged on the tarmac as the driver applied the brakes, panicking. Gabriel’s ears rang and he was dimly aware of the road pressing into the side of his face, right onto the last bruise Lucifer left. He tried to move and his head span, bile rising in his throat. He barely managed to lift his head a few inches before he was throwing his guts up onto the road side. He could hear voices, someone cursing and someone yelling, and then Lucifer’s cold drawl: _“Oh baby brother, just look at you now. A piece of pathetic roadkill… Right where you belong.”_ Gabriel’s eyes pricked with tears and a dry sob worked its way out of him.

Someone’s hand touched his shoulder and he flinched, white hot pain scissoring through him. He tried to open his eyes, and in the headlights of the truck he could see a silhouette of a man.

“Is he dead? Christ, Sammy. Please tell me he’s alive.”

Somebody said, and Gabriel wondered why they cared. Lucifer was right… He was where he belonged… In the dirt…

“He’s breathing.” The hand returned to his shoulder and Gabriel whimpered.

“Is he conscious? Jesus, he must be in agony. We better get him to the hospital…”

Gabriel yelped and pushed himself upright, shuffling backwards as tears of pain trickled down his cheeks and mingled with his blood.

“No… No hospitals.” He whimpered, surveying the shocked faces of the two young men in front of him.

“Man… You just got hit by a truck. You’ve probably got internal bleeding. You shouldn’t even be conscious.” One of them said, inching closer to Gabriel.

“No!” Gabriel yelled. Stars span in front of his eyes as he aimed a kick at the man’s shin.

The two guys exchanged looks. “We better take him home. Bobby’ll know what to do.”

And with that, the man Gabriel had kicked scooped him up like he weighed nothing and carried him to the cab of the truck. Gabriel passed out somewhere along the way.

 

When Gabriel woke up he was lying in a comfortable bed. He tried to open his eyes, but one of them was completely swollen shut. He swallowed the rising panic that he could feel building and squinted around the room with his working eye. The panic faded a little when he gleaned that he was neither in his bedroom at home, or in a hospital room.

Sunshine was streaming through the window of the homely bedroom. It was one of the most pleasant rooms he had been in. It reminded him of the room where his mother had died. He couldn’t remember how he had got there. Perhaps he was dead?

He pushed himself into a sitting position and tried to move, but his whole body was totally numb. And then it came back to him, slowly and then all at once. Leaving home, walking for hours, getting hit, and kicking some poor guy in the shin…

The door to the room opened and an older man walked into the room. He raised an eyebrow when he saw Gabriel was awake and quickly closed the door behind him.

“You must have some pain tolerance kid. Either that or you ain’t human.” He commented, pressing his hand to Gabriel’s forehead. “You got lucky. Your rucksack took most of the impact. I still don’t see how you managed to keep conscious though.”

Gabriel swallowed. His throat was like sandpaper. “Why didn’t you take me to the hospital?” He croaked.

“You made it pretty clear you didn’t want to be there. My boy has a shiner on his ankle to show for it.” The man sat down.

 “My name’s Bobby Singer, and I don’t usually ask questions. Your business is your own, the way I see it. I know you’re running from someone, your family I’d guess. You didn’t get that bruise on your jaw from my truck.”

Gabriel clenched his jaw, ignoring the pain. “Like you said, my business is my business.” He muttered.

Bobby sighed. “Listen kid. You’ve obviously had it tough. I’m not gonna interfere. You’re welcome here as long as you need us. I’m not about to hand you over to anyone.” He stood up and walked to the door. Gabriel felt his throat clogging with gratitude.

“Thank you.” He murmured, and Bobby smiled.  “Save your breath kid. You can tell me all about it later.”


	3. Chapter 3

Gabriel sat at the kitchen table, scribbling in Bobby’s account book. The ache in his bones was lessening day by day and he had started to feel strong again. After a week of begging he had persuaded Bobby to let him do something in return for all the kindness he had been given, and Bobby had finally given him the account book for the garage, muttering.

“Do something with that- can’t make head or tail or it myself.”

Gabriel had happily settled down. Money was one thing he knew something about. And Bobby had been so kind, letting him stay on even though he was mostly healed again. It was the least he could do to help.

 He was just figuring out how he could maximise Bobby’s monthly capital, when the kitchen door opened, and Sam stepped in.

Bobby had first described Sam as “my youngest idjit”. He was tall, broad, devastatingly attractive – and apparently a terrible driver. It had been he who was driving when the drunk hit Gabriel.

Evidently he felt incredibly guilty, because he made a huge effort to spend time with Gabriel. He worked at the library in town, and when he wasn’t there, he was at Gabriel’s bedside. It had been awkward at first, Sam was shy and Gabriel had trouble forming coherent sentences around attractive people. But it got better. They had a lot in common.

They enjoyed the same books and had similar music tastes. And they both had an interest in mythology and supernatural lore.

Gabriel had never been to college. He had wanted to, but his family wouldn’t agree to it. It was simply a waste of money when he could take a short course and then join the family business in a management position. They didn’t understand why he wasn’t interested in business. They certainly didn’t understand his interest in studying  _mythology._ So, to please Michael and to avoid Lucifer’s wrath, he took the course and became a financial manager at one of the many dreary offices the family owned.

He hated it, of course. He hated the fact that he was only there because his name was Novak. He hated that he had to spend even more time with his family. It had simply been more fuel on his desire to escape from the confines of his life.

Sam, by contrast, had got a free ride to Stanford University. He was going to be the lawyer, a dream that he had held from early childhood. He had been so happy – he loved his course, and he had a beautiful girlfriend called Jess.

All of that had fallen apart. A gas leak on campus had sparked a freak fire. Jessica had been in the building at the time. And Sam had failed to save her.

He couldn’t stay at Stanford after that. He came home to Bobby and worked part time at the garage and the library.

He was still getting over poor Jess’ death.

After Sam shared that with him, Gabriel new he had found a friend in Sam. Sam was the first person Gabriel ever told about Lucifer and the torrents of abuse he had suffered. He was the first person he ever showed his scars to. He didn’t know why, but there was something about Sam. He was so kind, and yet so fragile. Gabriel knew Sam wouldn’t yell, or try to pity him. He would simply care.

 

Sam offered Gabriel a warm smile as he entered the kitchen, sitting down next to him and glancing at the account books. Gabriel gave him a small smile back.

“How was the library?”

Sam shrugged. “Quiet. Lonely, I guess. How are the accounts?”

“Manageable. I’ve seen much worse.” Gabriel laughed. “There’s enough capital lost in here to buy a whole new business.”

Sam laughed and patted Gabriel’s shoulder. Gabriel flushed and tried not to look too hard at Sam’s dimples. “Well, I’m glad you’re here to sort it out. I can never get my head around numbers.”

 

If Gabriel’s heart fluttered a little when Sam said he was glad Gabriel was there? That was nobody’s business.


	4. Chapter 4

Gabriel smiled shyly and walked between the shelves of the library, up to the desk where Sam sat. He was glad to be out and on his feet again, and even gladder to be able to see Sam at the library.

He waited for Sam to look up, and smiled a little wider when he did. He walked up and perched on the desk, watching Sam sweep his tawny brown locks out of his face.

“Hey Gabe. How’s it going?” Sam asked, and Gabriel couldn’t help flushing a little bit when Sam called him Gabe. He’d never had a nickname before – at home he had always been Gabriel.

“Okay. Bobby tried to teach me about engines, but I guess I don’t have a practical mind. I’m better off in the office.” He laughed, and Sam grinned.

“Nothing wrong with that. Bobby’s lucky to have you to sort his shit out.”

“Maybe. He’s asked me to stay on, you know? I think it’s more because he likes my cooking than anything else though.”

Sam chuckled. “Well, you do bake a mean cake.”

“I do. It’s surprising really, I haven’t baked since I was a kid. My mom taught me before she died.” He smiled sadly. “But after that I had to grow up, and focus on school, y’know.” Gabriel shook his head. “Sorry, I don’t mean to sound so self-pitying.”

Sam shook his head and placed his hand over Gabriel’s on the desk. “Shut up, you know you can talk to me. Just like I can talk to you, right?”

“Right.” Gabriel smiled down at their hands, feeling a flutter of disappointment when Sam’s hand withdrew back to the mouse of his computer.

“You wanna get lunch? I have my break in a few minutes?” Sam questioned.

Gabriel nodded. Sam didn’t need to know that was the reason he had come into the library in the first place.

“Sure. I’ve been craving pizza all morning.”

“Awesome.”

 

Gabriel let Sam finish off his pizza. He knew it was stupid, but he always had Lucifer’s voice at the back of his mind, niggling away at him, telling him he was already fat enough. It wasn’t a serious problem – he was really okay with his body – but all the same, he sometimes needed to let Lucifer have his little victories. It was easier that way.

 Besides, he was happy just to sit there and watch Sam talk, and laugh, and gesture wildly with his hands when he got excited. He was beautiful, and Gabriel wished he had the talent to capture Sam’s face on paper, the way the light gleamed in his eyes and mouth curled up into a radiant smile. Gabriel was happy to simply bask in the sun of Sam’s presence. He didn’t think he had felt so truly happy in his whole life.

Sam was far too good for him of course, but Gabriel was happy with the small moments, when Sam’s hand brushed his, or his eyes lingered for more than a moment.

He was in love with Sam, and in most of all, in love with being in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gabe is so gone for Sam aw


	5. Chapter 5

Time passed quickly for Gabriel. The sudden, sweet burst of freedom had left him reeling, and sometimes he still had to pinch himself to check that he wasn’t dreaming.  
Life with Sam and Bobby was perfect. Gabriel no longer had to be afraid of every move he made. He could do anything he wanted. Sure, he had moments of doubt, when Lucifer’s voice would whisper things that made his heart clench and his skin crawl. But those moments were becoming rarer, and when they did happen, Gabriel had Sam to ground him.  
The months flew by. Gabriel got to know Sam better and better. And he fell deeper and deeper in love with him every moment. Strangely, he didn’t really mind. He knew of course that Sam was way out of his league and probably straight anyway, but it didn’t really matter. He was happy just to love some from afar. He was so happy he didn’t even think of expecting anything more than the wonderful friendship they had. When Sam smiled at him, he felt like the luckiest man on earth.

The seasons changed and the weather grew colder. Gabriel wrapped a scarf around Sam’s neck to keep off the chill. Sam installed a heater in the garage office to stop Gabriel’s feet from getting cold. They watched soppy Christmas films and decorated Bobby’s house with obnoxiously coloured tinsel. Gabriel tried to memorise the way Sam’s eyes lit up just like the lights on the Christmas tree, when the snow began to fall.  
It was perfect. Or rather, Sam was perfect.

They sat in front of a roaring fire and got drunk on spiked eggnog and liqueur chocolates. Sam laughed too loudly at Gabriel’s bad jokes, and Gabriel let himself fall a little bit further. It was hard to stop a gasp from escaping when Sam curled closer, and rested his head on Gabriel’s lap.  
“Why don’t you date?” The question came as a surprise and Gabriel frowned slightly. Why didn’t he date? Because he was in love with the most perfect man in the world and could never hope to deserve him.  
“I dunno.”   
“C’mon. You’re cute. Funny. You could have anyone.”  
Gabriel felt his cheeks catch on fire.  
“Shut up, I’m not cute. ‘m fat and short and I’ve got a massive nose.”  
“You shut up! You’re not fat!”  
“You don’t know that!”  
A short tussle ensued in which Sam managed to pin Gabriel down on the couch.  
“I like your nose.” He said softly, and Gabriel’s breath hitched. “I like your nose. And I like that you’re short. I don’t care what shape you are. What your asshole brother said doesn’t mean anything-“  
“Sam-“  
“No. I’m talking. You listen. I see the way you look at yourself. You’re wrong. He was wrong. You’re beautiful, funny, and intelligent. You could do anything, have anyone, go anywhere. You’re amazing.”  
Gabriel looked up at Sam’s earnest face. Tears were pricking in his eyes.  
“Sammy… I’m not… I’m nothing.”  
Sam’s eyes narrowed. He looked angry. Gabriel tried hard not to flinch.  
“You’re not nothing. You’re everything. You’re given my life meaning again. You’ve taught me how to be happy.”  
Gabriel closed his eyes.   
“You don’t mean that. It’s not true…”  
And then Sam kissed him, and the world exploded around him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haha, it's been a year.
> 
> Fuck.
> 
> I'm sorry, but here's a new chapter! A very angsty one at that!

Gabriel woke up, covered in a very warm, but very heavy body. He groaned softly. The little light filtering through the window was enough to make his head spin.  
He mentally cursed himself for drinking so much. And then he cursed Sam for persuading him to drink so much.

And then he remembered.

It came back in a horrible, nauseating flash. Drinking with Sam, talking to Sam... Kissing Sam. He covered his mouth with his free hand to bite back a groan.  
Sam had kissed him. But he'd been drunk. And he'd been trying to make Gabriel feel better about himself.  
Gabriel knew pity when he saw it. He felt sick. Sure, he wanted to kiss Sam. He wanted it more than anything. But a pity kiss? That was worse than nothing at all.

Sam hadn't even stirred. He was snoring, oblivious of Gabriel's mental turmoil. He had no idea... Maybe he wouldn't even remember the kiss...  
But what if he did? And what if he regretted it? Of course he would regret it! No one in their right mind would kiss Gabriel. Sam would be disgusted with himself, with Gabriel. Gabriel couldn't have that, couldn't bear it. He had to do something.  
Hangover forgotten, he carefully slid out from under Sam's weight and tiptoed to the window to consider his options.  
He could face the music. Stick around to see if Sam remembered and deal with the consequences if he did.  
Or he could run.  
He could run away. He was good at that. He could pack a bag, take one of Bobby's cars... He had cash, his earnings from working at the shop.

Mind spinning, he made his way to his bedroom. Leaving was his only option, he knew that. If Sam remembered the kiss, everything would be ruined. Sam would be disgusted and he'd probably never talk to Gabriel again. Better to cut all ties before that happened. Better to run.

The voice hissing in Gabriel's head wasn't his own anymore. It was Lucifer's. But it was right. He needed to get out.

He packed a bag with the bare essentials: change of clothes, toiletries, emergency candy. He didn't take his phone. He wasn't sure if he'd be strong enough to resist picking up, if Sam called him.

He went back to the lounge and looked at Sam, still slumped on the couch. His heart began to ache fiercely. He knew he was doing the right thing, but even so... He could hardly bear it. He didn't want to leave without saying goodbye.

He knelt in front of Sam and lightly stroked a hand through his hair.  
"Bye, Sammy. I... I love you." He whispered. He was choking on tears and he knew it.  
He thought (or perhaps it was his imagination) that Sam smiled in his sleep.  
He didn't stick around long enough to find out what would happen next.

He went out to the yard and picked out one of Bobby's older cars. He felt bad for taking it but he knew he was doing to right thing. Bobby would probably understand, anyway. He probably wouldn't want Gabriel around when he found out what had happened.

Gabriel took one last long look at the place that had been his home, then started up the car.  
He was doing was doing the only thing he could. And it was for the best.

He drove away without looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it :))

**Author's Note:**

> Pls comment. Thank you bbys.


End file.
